A Frozen Peace

The woods outside my door

Are begging me to plunge into their

Snow covered depths,

With fresh fallen powder 

To crunch beneath my boots. 

The still and frozen air

Is heavy with the silence

Of a thousand stifled thoughts.

My heart thuds quietly in my chest

And my breath fogs the space around me

Before being whisked away on the breeze. 

Fallen trees and hardy saplings 

Provide an obstacle course for my 

Hike among the bowing trees. 

Nature holds its breath

On the late December day,

Its furious frozen temper

Abates

And for a moment the world 

Is at peace

While I am left longing for the peace of your presence. 

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I Hope You Can Forgive Me

The rain poured today

and the heavens wept with you.

Your fears and anxieties poured out

and I could hear the tremble in your voice,

false starts and falterings,

bouts of sobs mixed with clear ideas.

I tried so hard to protect you from the uncertainties

in my life.

Your unfiltered thoughts streamed through the phone

and I know you are still trying to process.

And maybe you were in shock,

and only now beginning to realize the implications.

You asked me questions, I didn’t have the answers.

I never meant to cause you pain,

my choices and my life are mine to live.

You  placed the blame on my shoulders, and I don’t know if I can carry the weight.

I have spent too long holding myself accountable for the

actions, responsibilities, lives

of other people.

I free myself of that burden

because I cannot hold myself to it any longer.

I hope you can forgive me.

Your Dawn Beauty Leaves Me Breathless

I woke up in your arms

surrounded by your warmth

and snuggled next to your heart.

Rain fell softly outside the window,

nearly lulling me back to sleep

and casting a pale glow across your sleep laden face.

I could hear your heartbeat

Strong and steady,

and your soft breathing

Balanced out the pattering on the windowpanes.

The early morning light dances over your

Face. The gentle curve of your cheeks,

your faintly creased brow

and slightly parted lips.

And I fall in love

all over again.

Your dawn beauty leaves me breathless.

Sleep tousled hair

And an untroubled face.

I am wonderstruck by you,

and I have not even begun to describe your 

dazzling soul.

I cup your face and your eyes open unhurriedly. 

They are full of splendor

and I am at the mercy of their opulence.

Castle of Demons

I think we all carry out own type of hell around with us. It isn’t a physical place we go, but a place within ourselves that threatens to overwhelm us. We don’t begin life with that corner of our minds. It appears one day when we are broken down for the very first time. That first harsh word, that first broken heart, that first cold shouldered friend. It appears and begins to grow in strength and power. That is the castle of demons, where the insecurities and lies we tell ourselves are housed. The abuse we suffer, the self inflicted scars, the painful days and tormenting nights–all live here. And sometimes, they take over. They worm their way into the good days and make you question where you’re going. 

But then, one look, one word can silence them, and send them running back to their fortifications. Your bad days do not define you, and your good days should make you celebrate. Have that hour to panic and worry and then, fight back with all your strength. You are stronger than your demons, more powerful than your monsters. One day, you may even find that they have changed house, and no longer live in a castle–they now reside in a cell, locked away where they cannot hurt any longer.