Book Recommendation: Susan Cain’s “Quiet”

This is one of the most powerful books that I have read in a while. I spent today rocking in my hammock on the balcony with a cup of coffee in one hand and this book in the other. For obvious reasons, I connected deeply to the ideas in Quiet. Susan Cain delves into the fundamental differences between introverts and extroverts, pulling from many distinct research topics in order to explore and perhaps even explain the struggles of being an introvert in an extrovert-orientated world.

I was, and still am, a stereotypical introvert. I am the one who prefers independent work in the classroom, always has my nose stuck in a book, and I would rather stay at home on a Friday night than go partying with a bunch of people who I do not know. Cain breaks down these standards by looking at humanity’s nature versus nurture, basic physiology, and inborn capacities to handle novelty. One of my favorite qualities of her writing is that she does not say that either temperament is better than the other; she explains both in a way that allows for understanding, and in understanding people can discover the value in both introverted and extroverted tendencies.

Cain’s book is an important reminder that introverts connect to people just as much as extroverts do, only differently. I think sometimes that truth is forgotten amidst the din of a society that places greater value on the quantity rather than the quality of connection. It is especially helpful as a way for me, an introvert, to understand how extrovert relate to the world, so that I can better react to situations.

Honestly, this is a great read for anyone and everyone, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a quick summer holiday read.

-22

The Death of Infatuation

Scribbled stories fill a purple covered notebook, the only evidence of thoughts and feelings that once consumed my attention. Well, perhaps not the only evidence. For where once was written one name a thousand times across my mind, now exists a hundred thousand aspirations more significant. A young girl’s naiveté occupies the lined pages, day after day, story after story written as a reminder to the depth of my inexperience with the world. How ignorant, how dense I was then, to think that love could last when what transpired was never really love. I watch as the infatuation begins, takes hold, and slowly dwindles away across the march of time set in my altering handwriting. No longer do the entries revolve around some person that I had placed on a pedestal. No longer do I see the world through rose colored glasses. His true nature has been discovered years after the death of my infatuation with the he I had created, and I count myself lucky that he is a past tense in my life. I am of infinite worth, and his small town ideals would never be able to handle my firecracker existence. The books all say that the opposite of love is indifference. I am curious what force opposes infatuation?

To Sit in a Cemetery

I sit in the three hundred year old cemetery and closed my eyes. The quiet seeping into my bones chilling, then warming me. Pocketed stones clatter together on headstones, while the only whispers heard are the ones that sing through the tears of the weeping willows. Above my head the sun shines brightly, almost too gay for where I am. Thoughts shift around as my ears listen intently to noises that seem absent from this time and space. Are they the voices of the long dead, or merely the scritching of tiny feet over bark? A gust of wind blows the hair back from my face, and then settles next to me, and I feel calm. A shout from my friend announces our departure, so I grudgingly haul to my feet and walk to the falling down wall and back into the world of the animate.

They Forget to Tell Us About Love

They say that love conquers all.

All fears, all hates, all pains, all struggles.

It is the balm of life.

What they forget to tell us

Is that love is heartbreaking and unpleasant to the highest degree.

It is the reason people are awake at 2 in the morning,

Staring at the stars and wondering what went wrong.

It is the reason some people are walking around in this world,

Alone and lacking in trust.

It is the reason some people flee to the far reaches of the planet

To escape a pain that exists within themselves.

It is the reason people stare at the screen of the phone

Thumbs poised to write, but paralyzed with fear.

It is the reason the daisies are pulled each Spring,

To answer the question that can never be resolved.

They tell us that love,

Only love will fix our problems.

Alas!

They forget to tell us 

All the problems it creates.

-22

Mortality Doesn’t Suit You

Every so often there will come a midnight

Where you shall long for the release of the innumerable stars

Bursting apart in every part of you.

And your blaze too dazzling

For the world to look upon your light.

And sometimes you shall believe you’ve become

Unimaginably insignificant

Like the fissures between the world and the sky

Could swallow you without a thought.

And you would disappear.

Then other times you shall become as glass

Fragile and broken to pieces with the slightest provocation.

And other midnights you will amass Herculean strength

That holds together the fabric of the world. 

And you will discover that you are all of these things,

You always have been.

You are the brightest light, the smallest atom,

The daintiest glass, the strongest ties.

You become the pieces of the universe

And you realize that you are so much more alive 

To ever simply be mortal flesh.

-22

20:00

Tell me a piece of your history you’re proud to call your own.

When all is said and done,

what will we have left behind?

Our generation, so mired in despair and pain,

indifferent to suffering, 

yet moved to change the world in radical ways.

They say we cannot understand the world,

they give us not the chance.

Why should we have to prove we are worthy

to inherit the mess they leave for us?

Stand we tall and proud

to claim the life long deserved

and create the world on our own terms.

Take back the power they’ve stripped us of,

take back the society so perverse.

Find a remedy for the affliction of history.

-22

17:00

The world dashes about outside my window

the cold air pressing its nose against the pane.

I sit in near silence, warming my hands and face and toes.

My driver is sweet and obliging,

talking of weather and daily generalities.

In his speech I detect an accent, 

sleeping among the English words,

tingeing them in a strange hue.

He asks me a question, and I reply,

“Je comprends ce que tu dit.”

His eyes dart to me in the rearview mirror,

a new light shining in them,

the light that bursts forth in recognition of a kindred spirit.

A moment later, the dam erupts and words strung together

trip over each other in his haste to hear his mother tongue.

Rapid fire, back and forth we send our comments.

How much I’ve missed this language,

this tongue as familiar as my own. 

The conversation ends abruptly

when at my destination we’ve arrived,

I’m at loathe to leave and still I bid farewell

in the hopes that I have raised his spirit,

and given joy to a man who might otherwise

be seen as incoherent.

-22

13:00

Anxiously I wait

in a chair that creaks like a boat.

Unmoving I feel myself begin to burn

with neurotic energy and the unwarranted need to run.

It’s just a simple meeting, 

no longer than an hour,

yet here and now I and my advisor shall decide

the path I take, the shouldst and cannot evers,

the conflicts along the way. 

It’s just my future that we’re to discuss,

nothing too important

at least for him. 

For my own world its life and death, good and bad,

fear and longing for a better view.

So hurry in and watch your step,

it’s your destiny you’ve got to prep.

-22

11:00

The fight for food
So different from the battle
Of a thousand years ago.
Instead of the fierce beasts of wilderness,
We clash with lines that wrap around and around.
Muttered orders and irritable sighs weigh heavily
In the air between the hungry patrons.
Feet stomp the dirt and snow in tracks
Easier to follow than the footpaths of old.
I order at the counter and wait my turn,
A system so different from the world before.
How did we end up here?

Tied to the Phone

Let’s talk about phones.

In this day and age, our phones seem to be more and more attached to our persons. Every where I go, it seems like people are more concerned with the world in the little screen than the real world. Waiting in the queue, riding the T, even at meals with friends- it seems nearly impossible to go more than a couple of minutes without someone checking their phone.

I do not leave myself out of this equation.

Sometimes I get so frustrated that I get so attached to my phone, other times I’m glad to have the distraction. I feel like phones are good for alleviating some of my social anxiety, especially in situations where I have no idea what to do. On the other hand, I really enjoy people-watching, so new situations provide excellent opportunities to look at the mannerisms of people I don’t know.

I guess I have a love-hate relationship with my phone. Some days I love it, some days I hate it. It provides a way to communicate quickly, but also ties me to work and other people.

What is your relationship with your phone?

-22